selfishness and pictures of our day

Rich made it home safe, sound, and exhausted last night at about 7:30, needless to say, he fell asleep on the couch; poor guy.  He was gone since Monday and  had to do a lot of driving around New Jersey and New York.  He's at work today and I cannot wait until he gets home for dinner, perhaps we can have a normalish family night?  No place to go, simply just spend time with each other and the children?  Seriously sounds like bliss.

It's even hotter today....but my cold is getting better.  Now it's Ethan's turn to be sick.  We left him home with David for company and I took Jacob, Grace, Caleb, Seth, and Sarah to the Thursday morning Bible study with our pastor, Gary.  We meet at the commons (park) with no bathroom and unfortunately shortly after we arrived, Sarah told me several times she had to go p**p, so I had to actually leave 10 minutes after we got there, drive away to find a bathroom, and then go back.  Ugh.  I was stressed out but it was all worth it.  Isn't it wonderful to meet with other Christians?  Brothers and sisters, FAMILY, to talk about Scripture?  The thing about this study is that we do go off on rabbit trails and it's okay.  There is no pressure to get the worksheet done at a certain pace.  I confess, it took me some time to get used to the style, but I can see how it can be beneficial, as well, as the rabbit trails force me to THINK about my beliefs and opinions and I can practice articulating them.  I've been saved since I was six and have always regularly attended church, but there is still so much to learn.  The Bible is a never ending interesting topic.

I'm convicted this morning about my heart-attitudes and selfishness.  Wow, "oh wretched man that I am, who can deliver me from this body of death"  PRAISE GOD and His Son, Jesus Christ!  Isn't it wonderful that we HAVE HOPE.  Christ CAN (and did!) deliver me/us from our worst failures, He not only saves, but he redeems.  How in the world does He do it?  It's hard to be patient with myself.  I get so short with the children, I feel sorry for myself, I think too much of myself.  I'm tired!  Instead of just resting in Him and forgetting my self.  Life IS good, and Heaven will be wonderful.

I have a problem with social interactions, I almost always come away kicking myself for 'saying this' or 'feeling that', and it's my perfectionism and pride!  *confessions*  Oh Father,  help! 

I'm resting in Him and trusting that the people who associate with me will love me in spite of all my faults.  In fact, they don't even notice them.  And if they do, they don't care, really!  Why do I fixate on them???

I read this in a C.S. Lewis devotional this morning:

"There must be a real giving up of the self.  You must throw it away 'blindly' so to speak.  Christ will indeed give you a real personality:  but you must not go to Him for the sake of that.  As long as your own personality is what you are bothering about you are not going to Him at all.  The very first step is to try to forget about the self altogether.  Your real, new self will not come as long as you are looking for it.  It will come when you are looking for Him....even in social life, you will never make a good impression on other people until you stop thinking about what sort of impression you are making.  Even in literature and art, no man who bothers about originality will ever be original:  whereas if you simply tell the truth (without caring two pence how often it has been told before) you will, nine times out of ten, become original without ever having noticed it.  Give up yourself and your will find your real self."

Such good stuff!  So much to mentally chew!  (meditate on)  Once again, I am eternally grateful for my salvation and that there is no condemnation for those who love Christ; only hope, glorious and free.

I have pictures to share today....I am mostly excited about the dragonflies and butterfly.  But the children had so much fun in the pond yesterday and I have some pictures of them, too.  Such happy and sweet faces.  I think I'll go swimming today after naptime!

"Male Widow Skimmer" dragonfly
As adults, dragonflies live for a few weeks or months at most.

I don't know the name of this dragonfly but I LOVE it's color and the beauty of the shimmering wings.  So delicate.

 I went to hang up the clothes yesterday and found this creature hiding in a clothespin!

This lovely little dragonfly landed on my daughter's fingers.

Grace and I sat and watched the little ones swim.  They were so cute as they climbed up the dock together.

A lot of fun can be had with an old bucket.

Ethan (in red) and Jacob (in blue) mowed the yard so nicely yesterday.  We are so thankful for our hard working sons.

Sarah Joy loves staying on the edge of the pond, "swimming".

a bird in the pines

Sherlock, our orange kitten

Grace and her big book, not a dictionary, not a Bible,  but the complete Sherlock Holmes stories.
(Yes, she named the orange kitten.)

David and Caleb were practicing their handstands in the water.

Grace and I amused ourselves by petting and scratching Parker's shedding coat for him.......

There are little fish swimming around in the cooler.....(seth and sarah were looking at them)

back in her favorite swimming spot

Grace was fully clothed but couldn't resist getting into a splashing fight with her brothers.

She taught Seth and Sarah to stand on her shoulders.  They had such fun!

This picture took a lot of patience; I stood and waited the hot sun for a long time until this butterfly opened it's wings.  Isn't it gorgeous?  I love the browns and oranges, and the beautiful pattern.  Even the tips of the antennae are lovely.

When we went to Bible study this morning, we had to leave Ethan and David home alone.  When I returned, I found this picture on my camera.  They made homemade waffles from scratch and defrosted strawberries from the freezer, to eat on top!  Don't they look delicious!  It makes my heart happy to think about the brothers cooking, and then taking a picture of their finished project.  I'm so thankful for the relationship between Ethan and David, they get along so well and tend to do a lot together.  In fact, they are currently out trying to find enough wild berries for some muffins.  The blackberries, raspberries, and blueberries are ripe!

"Look for Christ and you will find Him, and with Him everything else thrown in."  C.S. Lewis


PS.  One of my favorite books for myself and the children to look through in "nature study" is The Secret Lives of Backyard Bugs.  It was written by a brother and sister.  I love that!